I am surely not the
only male convert to Orthodoxy who was initially surprised to discover how
central the balance of the masculine and the feminine is to our faith and
spiritual life. To some that may seem
counter-intuitive in a church with a male priesthood with lots of facial hair, while
to others it may be self-evident; nonetheless, it is true and important. For
example, think of Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah, Joachim and Anna, Zacharias
and Elizabeth, or Constantine and Helen.
We are always asking the female Theotokos to use her boldness as a
mother to intercede for us with her male Son.
We sing almost every Sunday about
those myrrh-bearing women in matins and regularly chant and/or read about women
saints of all kinds. We proclaim that
Mary Magdalene was the preacher to the male apostles of the Lord’s resurrection
and that she, together with various other women and men, are their equals. Since we are male and female in God’s image,
this balance fits nicely with the deepest sensibilities of Orthodox
Christianity.
Perhaps the strong women of my own family have helped me embrace
enthusiastically the prominent role of women in the Orthodox spiritual
life. In my hometown of Beaumont, TX, my
three great aunts—whom we called by their nicknames, Hennie, Nig, and Gertie—lived
just a few minutes from the house where I grew up. My grandmother had died when I was an infant,
and these ladies more than fulfilled that role for my brother and me. One was a widow and two never married, but
they lived together for decades and had very full lives. For example, Hennie
was the first female school principal in Beaumont, an accomplished and
enthusiastic fisherman (or fisherwoman ), and visited Alaska when she was around eighty.
When my father first met these ladies in the late 1950’s, he said he had
never met a group of such independent women.
They were all devout and straight-laced Methodists, which is why my
first educational experience was in a Methodist preschool. Since I did graduate work at Duke and now
teach at Methodist-related McMurry, it is interesting that my academic
experiences began and still continue in Methodist circles.
My mother and her late sister Fay have a lot in common
with those great aunts. Both, like
Hennie, were teachers, and they showed the same abundance of self-confidence
that she had. I remember Fay once
mentioning that someone at their Baptist church had asked where she and my mom
got that quality. Her response was that it was from their father, who never
gave them the impression that they should have been sons instead of daughters, and also instilled in them the belief that they could do whatever they set their minds
to. I hope that I have sent the same
message to my own girls.
My
mother, now a widow and the only surviving member of her family of origin, lives
independently in the house built by my great aunts. An active member of the Baptist congregation
in which I grew up, she still spends lots of time and energy taking care of
friends who suffer more than she does from the infirmities associated with a
long life. A few years ago, Mom attended
classes on Orthodoxy at St. Michael parish in Beaumont in order to learn more
about her youngest son’s faith. Once
when I was at St Vladimir’s Seminary in New York, our Bishop Basil was on the
phone with another priest at the same meeting. When it was my turn to say hello
to him, His Grace began, “The parish council in Beaumont loves your mother!” What a joyful confluence of important
people in my life. After she slept
unharmed through a burglary in her house a while back, Mom said, “Well, I
suppose that God has something left for me to do.” I do not doubt that for a minute.
Given the self-confident women in my upbringing, it is
probably not surprising that my wife is a physician, that our oldest daughter
had the courage to spend last summer interning at an AIDS foundation in Ghana,
and that our youngest had the confidence to go by herself to three summer
sessions of “nerd camp,” a residential program for gifted and talented students
a few hours away. Growing up Orthodox in
Abilene rarely leads to social advantages, and neither does attending nerd camp. The virtuous lives our girls lead in college and high school require courage
and self-determination.
Like
my mother and aunts, Paige and the girls are not timid shrinking violets by a
long shot, and neither were the women saints who had the boldness to go to the
tomb of Christ in the wee hours of Sunday morning to anoint His body, and thus
put themselves in the place to become the first witnesses of His
resurrection. Neither were the countless
female martyrs who died after enduring the worst tortures their enemies could
produce for refusing to abandon their Lord.
Above all, the courage of the Theotokos to say “yes” to the message of
the Archangel Gabriel stands as the epitome of humanity’s response to God’s
calling, and it was given by a teenage girl.
Perhaps
part of why venerating and asking for the prayers of female saints comes so
easily to me is that my life has been blessed by so many righteous women who
pray for me and for whom I pray, regardless of whether they are now among the
living or the departed. They are not
canonized by the Church (at least not yet!), but the witness of so many holy
women has benefited my own journey in ways beyond words. I could say a lot about my father, priests,
bishops, and many other male friends who have also played crucial roles in this
regard, but that is for another time. For
now, I will return to where I started. The masculine and feminine have legitimate and
balanced roles in the spiritual path of Orthodoxy. Since we are created male and female in God’s
image, and since the incarnate Son of God has a fully human mother, that really
should not be surprising. It is simply part of the good news of our
salvation, whether we are male or female.